There is nothing that I can call my own. Nothing. All that I have is these empty words and phrases that I have gathered from somewhere else. Through trial and error they have taught me everything. Even this language in which I am jotting down is a conventional product. I am taught how to space the notes between two words and thus a language. All that is there in me is this educational, cultural, societal and religious input. At times I feel like a walking robot. That particular robot is the product of ‘input’ and ‘output’. Whereas I am the product of ‘stimulus’ and ‘response’. Any effort on my part to separate myself from that ‘stimulus’ and ‘response’ via meditation or by any other psychedelic means is highly artificial. All I want is what they(world around me) want me to want. I reckon I am coming to the terms that there is no definite definition and purpose of the life, we devise one. And the moment we devise one, our whole existence becomes a reflection of it. Our every action gets molded by that particular purpose, in one way or another.
This depiction of life at times makes me frightened and out of that ‘fear’ (which they say is the oldest emotion, a protective mechanism) a ‘hope’ gets created. A hope that one day the reality or the ultimate reality will dawn on me but at the very same moment I maintain that we live and die in that hope. But having said that I guess on an individual level one can spend his life independent of culture, society and traditions etc just like Christopher McCandless (Into the wild). But eventually there is no point in doing so. I think one has to realize that there is no separate entity called ‘luck’ or ‘destiny but either only the haphazard incidents or the decisions that one makes in his or her existence, as a matter of fact only decisions.
So eventually I think I have to come to the terms that thought, evolved knowledge and conventional norms have a functional value in the society. And moreover society itself wants to be contributed to maintain its status quo. Whether it is The Communist society, The Capitalist Society, The Fascist, The Hindu, The Muhammadan all societies want to be contributed by the individuals. And if you want to live a sane and intelligent life you have to contribute within the possible framework of your contribution. You then walk with the system in harmony. Because you are supposed to walk with the system that is around you, the system will not walk with you. And when you accept the world on the basis of sheer knowledge, the evolved knowledge, you literally begin to realize the importance of everything.
Every living creature becomes priceless and comparison less for you, even a single ant. Because you realize that you can travel millions and billions of light years from this planet in any of the given directions but you won’t find another match of that tiny creature. In simple words you begin to live in harmony with the nature and the system around you. And I think that is the only mutual good that we can achieve on this little blue planet called ‘Earth’.